“Oh Shift” My Life Isn’t Perfect

I have the privilege of working with some of the most amazing, accomplished people and yet they never seem to be pleased with their performance. They compare themselves with others who in their mind have more, are better, are more accomplished and therefore they come up short.

Without realizing it, they are often comparing themselves with something that is an illusion and doesn’t even exist.

Have you ever noticed that the people who accomplish the most are the ones that feel they’ve done the least?

Many people live with unrealistic expectations. They believe if they do everything right, focus on the positive and are committed to their goals, and are persistent and diligent, life will be perfect. Nothing will happen because bad things only happen to people who do something wrong. Do you know anyone like that?

That is definitely not true. Why are we so surprised and disappointed and even ashamed when challenges occur in our lives.

It’s because we’ve been brainwashed into believing that if you have challenges in your career, or relationships, you’ve done something wrong. What if that isn’t true? What would it be like if we accepted that life has its challenges and what if we didn’t think of them as challenges but instead just as life experiences? Some are spectacular and some are devastating. It doesn’t mean anything about you. How you respond to the experiences is what counts.

What if you didn’t judge yourself when everything isn’t perfect? Everybody is trying to live up to the Jones and there are no Jones’. Not in my experience.

Someone’s life can look fantastic on the outside and yet on the inside they may be faced with just having lost a loved one, or just found out someone in their family has an addiction problem or any number of things that are far from what we would consider perfect.

Challenge your thinking for a moment.

What if it was perfect? What if it’s just part of life and our growth and learning? What if you were able to consider everything perfect as it is and then find the resources to change what needs changing and achieve your dreams. How much better would that be? How much more resourceful would you be?

Five keys to becoming a recovering perfectionist:

1. Practice self-acceptance, stop comparing yourself to others. This only leads to someone being less than.

2. Stop judging, there is no good or bad, right or wrong, simply what’s required in each situation to reach your outcome.

3. Set goals based on what you want to achieve, make sure it is aligned with your values and beliefs.

4. When life experiences appear as a challenge, decide you can overcome them and gain strength in the process.

5. Realize that so called bad things do happen to good people, it’s a part of life and stop feeling guilty, embarrassed or ashamed. There is no positive purpose.

Within each situation, there is perfection, find it and embrace it.