Recognize Where Change is Needed

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”
- Seneca

Are you honest with yourself about what needs to change in your life?

It’s not always easy to recognize where change is needed. We often don’t realize it because things change slowly and we adapt unknowingly. It begins with something small happening and because we are willing to be flexible, we adjust and continue on. Again, some small incident happens and we adjust and continue on. As time goes by we’ve adjusted so many times, we don’t even notice how far off base we really are and how much we’ve compromised in the process.

Awareness is the first step to recognizing where change is needed. Step back and evaluate where you are and where you want to be. What are your goals and are you moving closer to them or farther away. If you were to go back in time to a year ago, are you where you thought you’d be? Have you achieved your goals? Do you have the kind of relationships you want? Do you wake up every morning and want to get your day started because you’re excited about what the day holds in store for you or………are you just making do. Are you accepting things as they are whether they work or not?

If you were to stand back and look at your life as if it were someone else’s what would you think?

Sometimes the more coping skills you have the more you’re likely to let things go, because you can handle them. You get so good at dealing with things that don’t work that you don’t even remember there’s an easier way.

What are your expectations for your life? Do you expect to have what you want?

When you’re a positive person, and are always able to find the best in people or situations, you may feel it’s negative to notice things that you don’t like or would rather not be a part of. To notice is not to judge, to notice is discernment. To judge is to say it’s right or wrong.

How To Recognize Where Change Is Needed

1. Are you honest with yourself about where you are in your life and whether this is what you really want both personally and professionally?

2. Are you happy now or are you waiting to be happy when……..?

3. Are you making excuses about why things aren’t working out for you?

4. If you knew today was your last day, would you feel complete and fulfilled or wish you had made some changes?

5. If you could change anything, what would that be?

Take time to think about these questions. You and only you have the answers.

If you recognize change is needed, remember, now is the perfect time to begin to change the direction of your life and Design Your Destiny.

 A Willingness to Change

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
- Author Unknown

Are you willing to let go of your old comfortable patterns that don’t work and learn new ways of doing things?

Once you’ve honestly discovered where change is needed, the fun begins. Now it’s time to take action and change what isn’t working and create the life you want.

Before you can move forward, you need to be willing to change. There is a difference between recognizing a need to change and your willingness to do something about it.

Sometimes that means changing the dynamics of a significant relationship or perhaps even ending a relationship. It may require you to change careers even without knowing what’s next, or perhaps make new choices for your health and wellbeing which are not supported by others.

Be careful to stay out of the trap of analyzing what you’ve discovered. That will only keep you stuck. Sometimes an avoidance strategy is wanting to know “why” things happened or “why” you do what you do? “Why” will only keep you stuck. “Why” justifies behaviour that isn’t working.

Focusing on the “why” keeps you focused on the problem and what isn’t working, rather than focusing on how you want to be instead.

If you find yourself saying “I’ll change when……. Or I’ll change if……….I know I should change but……. It means you’re not willing to change.

No one can make you change.

It takes courage to change now. The courage comes at the stage of willingness. Once you are willing, things move easily and quickly to align with your willingness.

At this stage, it isn’t necessary to know “how”. The “how” will come.

A willingness to change comes with a deep desire to live your life differently. It’s also linked with a deep knowing that it can be different. That’s the feeling you want to trust because it will help you to courageously take the steps necessary to make the change and create a new way of life.

Are you willing to change? Questions to contemplate to give you insight:

1. What will happen if I am willing to change?

2. What will happen if I’m not willing to change?

3. What won’t happen if I’m willing to change?

4. What won’t happen if I’m not willing to change?

5. What will you gain by letting go of the old patterns that don’t work?

6. What will you lose by letting go of the old patters that don’t work?

Take time to think about these questions and contemplate your answers. This is an opportunity for you to make sure there is nothing getting in the way of your willingness to change.

If you are willing to change, remember, now is the perfect time to take action to change the direction of your life and Design Your Destiny.

Eliminate Inappropriate Emotional Responses

“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite.”
- William Blake

Do you over react to situations, lose your temper easily, resent things that don’t go your way? Are your feelings hurt easily?

Our emotions are a wonderful part of our experiences. They are the feeling side of life. Without our emotions, every experience would be the same.

Our emotions are an automatic response that sometimes serves us and sometimes does not. Because our emotions are something we’re not always in control of, they are good indicators for our health and well being.

Scientific studies have proven that our emotions are stored holographically throughout our body at a cellular level. It has also been scientifically proven that because of this, an over abundance of negative emotions can lead to challenges for our health and well being.

As well as posing health challenges, an over abundance of negative emotions can cause challenges in relationships, both personally and professionally.

When someone is filled with anger or sadness as an example, all it takes is one wrong word or one wrong look and an eruption of emotion takes place. It’s impossible to hold back our feelings permanently. Eventually someone will trigger the emotion by pushing the right “button”.

They can only push the ‘button” if you have one so it’s your responsibility to remove it. Your response has nothing to do with the person, it’s all about you. If you are not filled up with negative emotions, your response will be appropriate for the situation.

Saying I’m sorry only works for so long.

It isn’t appropriate to lose your temper and verbally abuse or attack people, or cry during a commercial, or feel guilty doing something good for yourself.

The good news is, it is possible to release these negative emotions. It’s one of the most rewarding parts of my work and can be life changing.

By releasing the emotions, it allows you to be in charge of your behaviour. Your perception completely changes. You’re able to better articulate your position, and expectations when the emotional charge is gone. People are more likely to listen and appreciate your perspective. This is an important part of being able to have a positive influence on others.

Healthy Emotional mini-checklist:

1. You are able to receive feedback that differs from your opinion without a negative reaction.

2. You’re able to express kindness before receiving it.

3. You don’t hold a grudge and can let things go.

4. You don’t intimidate people you have authority over including your children.

5. Your moods aren’t influenced by traffic conditions.

6. You don’t experience anxiety in everyday activity such as going to the doctor, meeting new people, driving through a tunnel.

Set your expectations high. Expect to feel calm, centered, confident. Don’t let your environment influence your behaviour. Inappropriate emotional responses will limit your successes in life.

Now is the perfect time to take charge and change the direction of your life and Design Your Destiny.