I have the privilege of working with some of the most amazing, accomplished people and yet they never seem to be pleased with their performance. They compare themselves with others who in their mind have more, are better, are more accomplished and therefore they come up short.

Without realizing it, they are often comparing themselves with something that is an illusion and doesn’t even exist.

Have you ever noticed that the people who accomplish the most are the ones that feel they’ve done the least?

Many people live with unrealistic expectations. They believe if they do everything right, focus on the positive and are committed to their goals, and are persistent and diligent, life will be perfect. Nothing will happen because bad things only happen to people who do something wrong. Do you know anyone like that?

That is definitely not true. Why are we so surprised and disappointed and even ashamed when challenges occur in our lives.

It’s because we’ve been brainwashed into believing that if you have challenges in your career, or relationships, you’ve done something wrong. What if that isn’t true? What would it be like if we accepted that life has its challenges and what if we didn’t think of them as challenges but instead just as life experiences? Some are spectacular and some are devastating. It doesn’t mean anything about you. How you respond to the experiences is what counts.

What if you didn’t judge yourself when everything isn’t perfect? Everybody is trying to live up to the Jones and there are no Jones’. Not in my experience.

Someone’s life can look fantastic on the outside and yet on the inside they may be faced with just having lost a loved one, or just found out someone in their family has an addiction problem or any number of things that are far from what we would consider perfect.

Challenge your thinking for a moment.

What if it was perfect? What if it’s just part of life and our growth and learning? What if you were able to consider everything perfect as it is and then find the resources to change what needs changing and achieve your dreams. How much better would that be? How much more resourceful would you be?

Five keys to becoming a recovering perfectionist:

1. Practice self-acceptance, stop comparing yourself to others. This only leads to someone being less than.

2. Stop judging, there is no good or bad, right or wrong, simply what’s required in each situation to reach your outcome.

3. Set goals based on what you want to achieve, make sure it is aligned with your values and beliefs.

4. When life experiences appear as a challenge, decide you can overcome them and gain strength in the process.

5. Realize that so called bad things do happen to good people, it’s a part of life and stop feeling guilty, embarrassed or ashamed. There is no positive purpose.

Within each situation, there is perfection, find it and embrace it.

Every moment of every day we make choices that lead us to where we are today. It’s easy to recognize the big choices we make, but what about the small everyday choices? Choosing to make that telephone call, to make a purchase, take a course or read a book can have a life changing impact. Meeting one new person can completely change your life and you never know who that might be.

The more conscious you are about your choices and actions, the more likely you are to end up where you want to be. Although having said that, nothing is static so if you don’t like where you are, just make different choices. Taking no action is also a choice and every choice has a consequence.

At times we may feel we have no choice but we always have a choice. We may not like the choices but we always have a choice. The moment we feel we have no choice, we’re giving our power away and taking the road of the victim. Without realizing it, we are often looking for someone else to bail us out or we’re expecting someone else to change. Knowing your choices brought you to where you are, means you can make other choices to change your situation.

Don’t get stuck on the belief that once you’ve made a choice you have to live with it. You made a choice based on a certain set of circumstances and criteria. If the circumstances or criteria change, it’s time to reevaluate your choices.

I’ve always imagined this vista of possibilities in front of me and depending on my choices, different ones are possible. If I face forward, one outcome is achievable, if I turn slightly either side, there is another possibility in front of me. The important piece in this is knowing what you want so you can face the right direction as you move forward.

Even though you may have experiences that are challenging, it doesn’t necessarily mean you made the wrong choices, this may be exactly what you were meant to experience on your journey to achieving your goals. There may be some very important things for you to learn from the experience that will make it easier for you to achieve your goals and live your life purpose. You just have to focus on what it is you want and keep going.

Always ask yourself the question “is this choice taking me closer to my goal or farther away?” “Will this choice give me what I want or what I don’t want?” “Am I following my inner guidance?”

Below is a strategy I’ve been sharing for many years that can help you make more conscious choices. Keep this close at hand and have it become your success strategy.

Breakthrough Strategy for Success

1. Have a clear outcome. What do you want to achieve? What do you want your life to look like?

2. Take Action. What do you need to do to achieve your outcome? What choices are you making?

3. Pay attention to feedback. Is what you’re doing taking you closer to your outcome or farther away? Are you getting the results you want? If you are, keep doing what you’re doing.

4. Be flexible. If you’re not getting the results you want, stop what you’re doing, re-evaluate the situation and make different choices.

5. Operate from a positive mindset. Stay focused on what you want not on what you don’t want. Acknowledge your accomplishments, monitor your self talk and make choices that feed and nourish a positive mindset.

7 secrets to Beat the Aging Process and stay young
by Lynn Robinson

At some point, I decided to stop celebrating the number of years and focus on celebrating my life because unconsciously the number represented something. People have expectations of you at certain ages and I wasn’t interested in fulfilling those expectations. In our culture the higher numbers generally represent something negative. When I was in my thirties (you’ll have to figure out how long ago that was) I had a friend who already thought she was old.

That’s when I decided aging was an attitude.

Oh, and by the way, my husband is 15 years younger than me which is one of my secrets for staying young.

7 secrets to Beat the Aging Process and stay young:

1. Play with people who are younger than you.

Spend time with small children and let them teach you how to have fun. With youth comes enthusiasm. The young believe they can do anything.

2. Sweet talk yourself.

Monitor that little voice inside your head and make sure it’s only telling you how wonderful you are and how you can achieve your dreams. Take control of your inner voice and pretend you’re talking to someone you love and respect and believe in.

3. Respect Your Body.

Your body is an amazing machine. It requires healthy food to fuel it and 7-8 hours of sleep to rejuvenate and reenergize. If you don’t have time to exercise, talk a short walk each day and commune with nature.

4. Meditation.

Studies have shown that meditation helps increase brain function, reduce the effects of aging on the brain and improves concentration and memory. It reduces stress, is calming and energizing. 15 minutes a day can make a difference. In another study people who meditated for 5 years were biologically 12 years younger than people of the same age who did not meditate.

5. Never Stop Learning.

There is always something to learn. Be open to new ways of doing things, new ideas, trains of thought. Youth brings with it creative new ideas and an openness to possibility. The only way to build new dendrites in the brain is to learn something new. So go take a hula class, learn another language or join us in a workshop.

6. Don’t Act Your Age.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Life is meant to be fun and exciting. Spend time skipping down the road, building sand castles and flying kites. When life becomes challenging, take a time out and focus on things that bring you joy.

7. Believe it or not it’s True.

What do you believe about aging? Your beliefs will determine how you age. Aging is a natural process and we can do it gracefully, living life to the fullest or we can decide aging means ill health and nothing to look forward to. A young mind supports a youthful attitude. Our beliefs influence our choices so what choices are you making?

Become one of the young at heart and never act your age.

7 secrets to Beat the Aging Process and stay young
by Lynn Robinson

Oh, and by the way, my husband is 15 years younger than me which is one of my secrets for staying young.

7 secrets to Beat the Aging Process and stay young:

1. Play with people who are younger than you.

Spend time with small children and let them teach you how to have fun. With youth comes enthusiasm. The young believe they can do anything.

2. Sweet talk yourself.

Monitor that little voice inside your head and make sure it’s only telling you how wonderful you are and how you can achieve your dreams. Take control of your inner voice and pretend you’re talking to someone you love and respect and believe in.

3. Respect Your Body.

Your body is an amazing machine. It requires healthy food to fuel it and 7-8 hours of sleep to rejuvenate and reenergize. If you don’t have time to exercise, talk a short walk each day and commune with nature.

4. Meditation.

Studies have shown that meditation helps increase brain function, reduce the effects of aging on the brain and improves concentration and memory. It reduces stress, is calming and energizing. 15 minutes a day can make a difference. In another study people who meditated for 5 years were biologically 12 years younger than people of the same age who did not meditate.

5. Never Stop Learning.

There is always something to learn. Be open to new ways of doing things, new ideas, trains of thought. Youth brings with it creative new ideas and an openness to possibility. The only way to build new dendrites in the brain is to learn something new. So go take a hula class, learn another language or join us in a workshop.

6. Don’t Act Your Age.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Life is meant to be fun and exciting. Spend time skipping down the road, building sand castles and flying kites. When life becomes challenging, take a time out and focus on things that bring you joy.

7. Believe it or not it’s True.

What do you believe about aging? Your beliefs will determine how you age. Aging is a natural process and we can do it gracefully, living life to the fullest or we can decide aging means ill health and nothing to look forward to. A young mind supports a youthful attitude. Our beliefs influence our choices so what choices are you making?

 

The Secret to Success

Designing Your Destiny is something you do every moment, whether you’re conscious of it or not. Every thought you have, every choice you make or don’t make today, determines where you’ll be tomorrow.

Have you ever noticed in every economy there are people who make money and those who don’t. People who search for ways to make things work and those who search for reasons why it isn’t working.

Which one are you?

In Designing Your Destiny, the first thing is to notice where you are now and where you want to be.

Designing Your Destiny goes beyond setting goals. It’s a much bigger picture that you need to tap into.

If you want to move from success to excellence in Designing Your Destiny, there are steps to take.

1. Commitment to personal development. Are you committed? Do you invest in yourself to become the best you can be. That includes time and money. 

2. Recognize where change is needed. Are you honest with yourself about what needs to change in your life? 

3. A willingness to change. Are you willing to let go of your old comfortable patterns that don’t work and learn new ways of doing things. 

4. Eliminate inappropriate emotional responses. Do you over react to situations, lose your temper easily, resent thing that don’t go your way? Are your feelings hurt easily? 

5. Develop high self esteem. You cannot feel good about others if you don’t feel good about yourself. 

6. Achieve desires. Setting goals isn’t enough. Unless you truly desire it and are connected to the end result, you’ll only set yourself up for failure. 

7. Notice the results of your communication. Do you notice how people respond to you? Are you paying attention? Are you getting the results you want? 

8. Build strong relationships. There is very little you can accomplish without building strong relationships. It is true, it’s not what you know but who you know that counts. 

9. Create a balanced lifestyle. If something isn’t working in one area, it overlaps into all other areas. Success is never truly there until you have all areas of your life working. 

10. Align your values. Until your values are aligned, you will always feel there is something more that you are missing. 

11. Live your purpose When you’re connected to a purpose beyond the task at hand, it makes everything worthwhile. Find a way to connect to your purpose.

It’s not what happens in your life that determines your destiny; it’s how you respond to what happens that makes the difference.

Each month learn how to Design Your Destiny one step at a time.

Commitment to Personal Development

“People are where they are because that’s exactly where they really want to be…whether they’ll admit that or not.” 
- Earl Nightengale

Are you committed? Do you invest in yourself to become the best you can be. That includes time and money.

It’s a catch 22. The thing you need the most is often the thing you don’t have the time nor money to invest in … which makes it the thing you need the most. Personal development can often fall into that category. It’s the easiest thing to put on the back burner until things settle down, you make more money, you make some decisions etc.

The list can go on forever, but the problem is that most of these things won’t go away until you find some new ways of dealing with them, which means taking some time for your personal development. The people that invest in themselves are the people that appear to have it all together and don’t need personal development. Another catch 22 … if you invest in yourself, you won’t need to, so ideally you continue to fill yourself, nurture yourself, so that you never feel the need to do something. You fill yourself with positive input because it feels good and you know it makes a difference.

It isn’t easy to do what I’m suggesting, because more often than not, we’re operating out of fear, we’re putting out fires, playing catch-up, racing from point A to point B. The only way to change that, is to go outside of yourself for some inspiration, some new tools and strategies to deal with everyday life.

When you begin to step back from your situation, you’ll find that everyone has their story. There are many resources out there. You just have to look for them and be willing to invest in yourself, take care of yourself and know that the only way to change your results is to change the way you approach things.

You may wonder how you can find the time or money to invest in your personal development, with everything else you have on your plate. The real question is … how can you not? Our responsibilities are increasing, people are being asked to give more and more of themselves on the job, to say nothing of the family responsibilities that seem to be increasing.

Simple Steps to Your Personal Development:

1. Before you start your day, sit quietly and write out your goals for the day. Include personal goals and family goals.

2. Take 20 minutes a day to read an inspirational book.

3. Commit to taking a personal development workshop once a quarter.

4. Find a mentor. Surround yourself with positive, happy people. Successful people love to share their experiences.

Develop an ongoing curiosity about life. Enjoy every minute of every day because you never know which one is the last.

Personal development is a life long program. There will always be more to learn. Life is learning. Invest in your most valuable asset … YOU.