The Secret to Success

Designing Your Destiny is something you do every moment, whether you’re conscious of it or not. Every thought you have, every choice you make or don’t make today, determines where you’ll be tomorrow.

Have you ever noticed in every economy there are people who make money and those who don’t. People who search for ways to make things work and those who search for reasons why it isn’t working.

Which one are you?

In Designing Your Destiny, the first thing is to notice where you are now and where you want to be.

Designing Your Destiny goes beyond setting goals. It’s a much bigger picture that you need to tap into.

If you want to move from success to excellence in Designing Your Destiny, there are steps to take.

1. Commitment to personal development. Are you committed? Do you invest in yourself to become the best you can be. That includes time and money. 

2. Recognize where change is needed. Are you honest with yourself about what needs to change in your life? 

3. A willingness to change. Are you willing to let go of your old comfortable patterns that don’t work and learn new ways of doing things. 

4. Eliminate inappropriate emotional responses. Do you over react to situations, lose your temper easily, resent thing that don’t go your way? Are your feelings hurt easily? 

5. Develop high self esteem. You cannot feel good about others if you don’t feel good about yourself. 

6. Achieve desires. Setting goals isn’t enough. Unless you truly desire it and are connected to the end result, you’ll only set yourself up for failure. 

7. Notice the results of your communication. Do you notice how people respond to you? Are you paying attention? Are you getting the results you want? 

8. Build strong relationships. There is very little you can accomplish without building strong relationships. It is true, it’s not what you know but who you know that counts. 

9. Create a balanced lifestyle. If something isn’t working in one area, it overlaps into all other areas. Success is never truly there until you have all areas of your life working. 

10. Align your values. Until your values are aligned, you will always feel there is something more that you are missing. 

11. Live your purpose When you’re connected to a purpose beyond the task at hand, it makes everything worthwhile. Find a way to connect to your purpose.

It’s not what happens in your life that determines your destiny; it’s how you respond to what happens that makes the difference.

Each month learn how to Design Your Destiny one step at a time.

Lynn has had the pleasure of working with all of the following companies:

Canada		Canada		USA
Canada		Canada		Canada
Canada		USA		Canada
Canada		UK		Canada
Canada		USA		UK
Canada		Canada		Canada
Canada		Canada		USA
		UK

Commitment to Personal Development

“People are where they are because that’s exactly where they really want to be…whether they’ll admit that or not.” 
- Earl Nightengale

Are you committed? Do you invest in yourself to become the best you can be. That includes time and money.

It’s a catch 22. The thing you need the most is often the thing you don’t have the time nor money to invest in … which makes it the thing you need the most. Personal development can often fall into that category. It’s the easiest thing to put on the back burner until things settle down, you make more money, you make some decisions etc.

The list can go on forever, but the problem is that most of these things won’t go away until you find some new ways of dealing with them, which means taking some time for your personal development. The people that invest in themselves are the people that appear to have it all together and don’t need personal development. Another catch 22 … if you invest in yourself, you won’t need to, so ideally you continue to fill yourself, nurture yourself, so that you never feel the need to do something. You fill yourself with positive input because it feels good and you know it makes a difference.

It isn’t easy to do what I’m suggesting, because more often than not, we’re operating out of fear, we’re putting out fires, playing catch-up, racing from point A to point B. The only way to change that, is to go outside of yourself for some inspiration, some new tools and strategies to deal with everyday life.

When you begin to step back from your situation, you’ll find that everyone has their story. There are many resources out there. You just have to look for them and be willing to invest in yourself, take care of yourself and know that the only way to change your results is to change the way you approach things.

You may wonder how you can find the time or money to invest in your personal development, with everything else you have on your plate. The real question is … how can you not? Our responsibilities are increasing, people are being asked to give more and more of themselves on the job, to say nothing of the family responsibilities that seem to be increasing.

Simple Steps to Your Personal Development:

1. Before you start your day, sit quietly and write out your goals for the day. Include personal goals and family goals.

2. Take 20 minutes a day to read an inspirational book.

3. Commit to taking a personal development workshop once a quarter.

4. Find a mentor. Surround yourself with positive, happy people. Successful people love to share their experiences.

Develop an ongoing curiosity about life. Enjoy every minute of every day because you never know which one is the last.

Personal development is a life long program. There will always be more to learn. Life is learning. Invest in your most valuable asset … YOU.

 Recognize Where Change is Needed

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”
- Seneca

Are you honest with yourself about what needs to change in your life?

It’s not always easy to recognize where change is needed. We often don’t realize it because things change slowly and we adapt unknowingly. It begins with something small happening and because we are willing to be flexible, we adjust and continue on. Again, some small incident happens and we adjust and continue on. As time goes by we’ve adjusted so many times, we don’t even notice how far off base we really are and how much we’ve compromised in the process.

Awareness is the first step to recognizing where change is needed. Step back and evaluate where you are and where you want to be. What are your goals and are you moving closer to them or farther away. If you were to go back in time to a year ago, are you where you thought you’d be? Have you achieved your goals? Do you have the kind of relationships you want? Do you wake up every morning and want to get your day started because you’re excited about what the day holds in store for you or………are you just making do. Are you accepting things as they are whether they work or not?

If you were to stand back and look at your life as if it were someone else’s what would you think?

Sometimes the more coping skills you have the more you’re likely to let things go, because you can handle them. You get so good at dealing with things that don’t work that you don’t even remember there’s an easier way.

What are your expectations for your life? Do you expect to have what you want?

When you’re a positive person, and are always able to find the best in people or situations, you may feel it’s negative to notice things that you don’t like or would rather not be a part of. To notice is not to judge, to notice is discernment. To judge is to say it’s right or wrong.

How To Recognize Where Change Is Needed

1. Are you honest with yourself about where you are in your life and whether this is what you really want both personally and professionally?

2. Are you happy now or are you waiting to be happy when……..?

3. Are you making excuses about why things aren’t working out for you?

4. If you knew today was your last day, would you feel complete and fulfilled or wish you had made some changes?

5. If you could change anything, what would that be?

Take time to think about these questions. You and only you have the answers.

If you recognize change is needed, remember, now is the perfect time to begin to change the direction of your life and Design Your Destiny.

 A Willingness to Change

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
- Author Unknown

Are you willing to let go of your old comfortable patterns that don’t work and learn new ways of doing things?

Once you’ve honestly discovered where change is needed, the fun begins. Now it’s time to take action and change what isn’t working and create the life you want.

Before you can move forward, you need to be willing to change. There is a difference between recognizing a need to change and your willingness to do something about it.

Sometimes that means changing the dynamics of a significant relationship or perhaps even ending a relationship. It may require you to change careers even without knowing what’s next, or perhaps make new choices for your health and wellbeing which are not supported by others.

Be careful to stay out of the trap of analyzing what you’ve discovered. That will only keep you stuck. Sometimes an avoidance strategy is wanting to know “why” things happened or “why” you do what you do? “Why” will only keep you stuck. “Why” justifies behaviour that isn’t working.

Focusing on the “why” keeps you focused on the problem and what isn’t working, rather than focusing on how you want to be instead.

If you find yourself saying “I’ll change when……. Or I’ll change if……….I know I should change but……. It means you’re not willing to change.

No one can make you change.

It takes courage to change now. The courage comes at the stage of willingness. Once you are willing, things move easily and quickly to align with your willingness.

At this stage, it isn’t necessary to know “how”. The “how” will come.

A willingness to change comes with a deep desire to live your life differently. It’s also linked with a deep knowing that it can be different. That’s the feeling you want to trust because it will help you to courageously take the steps necessary to make the change and create a new way of life.

Are you willing to change? Questions to contemplate to give you insight:

1. What will happen if I am willing to change?

2. What will happen if I’m not willing to change?

3. What won’t happen if I’m willing to change?

4. What won’t happen if I’m not willing to change?

5. What will you gain by letting go of the old patterns that don’t work?

6. What will you lose by letting go of the old patters that don’t work?

Take time to think about these questions and contemplate your answers. This is an opportunity for you to make sure there is nothing getting in the way of your willingness to change.

If you are willing to change, remember, now is the perfect time to take action to change the direction of your life and Design Your Destiny.