When we’re young and innocent, we see the world as a place of possibility and at some point, for many people, that changes.

We just spent the afternoon at our granddaughter’s school concert. She was so excited about the concert. She was in the choir. She has been practising and practising and couldn’t wait to perform.

The best part was that she was telling her mom what a good singer she is, really good. And because she felt good about being a good singer, she sang her heart out.

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When did it stop being ok to be proud of what we can do well? And to tell other people that we’re good? When did we begin to hear the words “it’s not good to brag” or “don’t be conceited”. Why is it only ok when we’re very young? So many teens lack self-confidence and have low self-esteem, which often stays with them into adulthood. What if we continued to encourage them to share when they feel good about an accomplishment?

Why do we have to play small and hide our joy and pride in our abilities to do well?

When I was in my teens, I was Miss BC Lions. I didn’t invite anyone to the event when I was chosen, not even my family. It was years before I would tell anyone about being Miss BC Lions because it would have sounded as if I was bragging. How sad. I was so conditioned that even now I think twice about it after alllll…….. these years. No I won’t tell you how many.

What would our world be like if we could share our accomplishments that bring us joy, as well as our challenges. Imagine the confidence we would build within ourselves when we could acknowledge our own wins. Who says it’s not ok. Everyone has things they’re proud of. We all have different natural abilities and skills. Why hide your greatness.

The more you acknowledge your greatness the more you’re able to acknowledge other people’s greatness. That is one of the indicators of high self-esteem.

What are you proud of? What accomplishments have you achieved that you really want to share? It doesn’t have to be something big, just something that makes you feel good when you think about it.

I’d love to hear some of the things that you really feel good about and haven’t felt right about sharing.

In the last while I’ve had an opportunity to explore the structure of our beliefs more fully. In particular, how our beliefs impact our business success and our leadership abilities. The subject has fascinated me for a very long time. I’ve watched how beliefs can make or break a person. I’ve watched people who from my perspective are amazing and accomplished and yet they believe the exact opposite of themselves. And it’s not what I believe that counts, it’s what they believe. I’ve seen how this limits them in their life. Not necessarily with what they accomplish, but in how they feel about what they’ve accomplished.

Often the people who have achieved the most feel they’ve achieved the least.

Self-worth and self-esteem are also tied to our beliefs about ourselves. Your self esteem is based on how you think and feel about yourself based on our self concept. Your self-worth is based on your evaluation of your self-concept. And your self concept is what you believe about yourself . This is very powerful since your beliefs shape your destiny and guide your behaviour.

I met an amazing young woman in Hawaii a number of years ago. She was 29 at the time. She was an artist. I met her at the Kona Art Center in Holualoa. She was very successful with her paintings. Her originals were so much in demand that they limited the sale of them to only once a year.

She was very excited about her art and very goal oriented. She was always striving to learn more and achieve more. Beyond her art, she won 23 medals swimming, performed in the local theatre and had a desire to go to college and become a playwright.

What makes her even more amazing is that she was born with what is commonly known as Downs Syndrome. She believed that she could overcome this and didn’t want to use it as a crutch in her life.

Are you using any crutches in your life that are stopping you from living life to the fullest? Do you have beliefs that are sabotaging your success? Do you want to want to break free from the beliefs that are holding you back?

Imagine what your life could be like if you did.

We had separated a few months earlier, which had been a surprise to me at the time.

My daughter was around 9 months old and my son was just over 3 and I didn’t know how I was going to cope with being a single mom. Especially when my heart was breaking.

At some point as I was sitting there, I seemed to hear this inner voice that said “you have a choice to either focus on what you have in your life which you love, or you can focus on what’s missing.” At that point I had a flash of what my life would be like if I focused on what I loved, which was my children and what my life would be like if I focused on what was missing, which was my husband. I could see two different paths leading in opposite directions. I instinctively knew which path I would take and I also knew that I had to consciously focus on the love I had for my children otherwise it would be too easy to go down the other path. I had to trust my inner guidance without question.

I decided at that moment to focus on my children. Because of that one choice our life was filled with love and joy. I’m not saying that at that time I wouldn’t have rather stayed together as a family, but since that wasn’t the case, it was up to me to create a life filled with love and joy for myself and my children.

That was a pivotal life-changing decision for me and impacted everything I did from that point forward. It was definitely an ”Oh Shift” moment for me.

I often think back to that time and am so grateful for the choice I made.

Sometimes life’s challenges can be overwhelming and not exactly what we had hoped for. No matter what happens, we always have a choice as to how we will respond and that choice will impact the direction of the rest of our life.

When shift happens what will you choose?

2001 started out as my best year as far as business goes. I had been hired by a company out of New York and London, England to develop training programs and deliver them in some of the most amazing venues I had ever worked in.

At the end of August I was presenting in New York and flying on to London to present the same program. We were delivering a leadership program to clients in the financial markets.

As usual I met some amazing people in each of the workshops and spent time with the leadership team doing some strategizing.

When I left London, the team was also leaving to set up for a trade show in the world trade center in New York. They were so enthusiastic about the show. Some of them were attending for the first time and were very excited about being a part of the event.

One of my best friends and also a business colleague, was supposed to be there for the set up. He decided he would instead go on September 11^th.

As we awoke to the newsflashes about the twin towers, all I could think about was all the people who I knew would be attending the tradeshow.

I had no way of knowing if my best friend had already arrived or who was in the building at the time. I tried to call London to find out if anyone knew anything only to find all circuits busy.

As I waited for news along with so many others, I remembered how each day we went through the World Trade Center to get the subway to the office. I remembered the first time I went to Windows on the World in the trade center on the 107 floor of tower two, watching the planes fly at the same height we were at.

Finally I heard from my friend, he was just about to board when the first plane hit. I was so grateful for his safety. Now the wait for the rest of the news.

Unfortunately we lost most of the people in the New York office and the team from the London office.

The personal loss was very sad for so many people and yet everyone had to carry on.

I was asked to help coach the people who were left. This was a great challenge and meant that I had to first reconcile things within myself before I could help others.

I had no idea just how much this would personally impact my life. At the time all I could think of was the others who were impacted and how I could help.

Eight years later looking back there was no way of knowing the positive impact of this tragic event that would permeate our lives.

We saw differences put aside, acts of kindness, generosity, an outpouring of love and a real appreciation for the special relationships we have in our own life. We cherished those special people and took nothing for granted.

Are we still living like that or have we forgotten?

Treasure each day because there is no going back.

After talking a few minutes we decided to go to Starbucks for a coffee and it wasn’t long before he started to share about the issue he was struggling with.

Stan had a long time business relationship and friendship with Bob. It was a relationship which Stan had believed was based on honesty, friendship, and support.

Bob and Stan never really worked together officially. Over time there had been a mutual relationship that grew from sharing of information back and forth. In recent times, Bob had begun to question Stan’s abilities in subtle ways and yet at the same time continued to ask his advice and say how much he valued Stan and his work. The mixed message was very confusing.

Because of the friendship, Stan wanted to overlook this. Bob even referred business to Stan’s competitor, finding some justification for doing this. Stan had continued to believe Bob’s words of support . He wanted to think the best of Bob because of their relationship. This continued for some time until one day something too blatant happened.

At that point Stan realized that he could no longer ignore or make excuses for what was happening. It was important for Stan to make a choice. It was not an easy choice for Stan but he knew it was important. Deep down Stan knew that he needed to choose to believe in himself, and trust himself enough to acknowledge the discrepancy in Bob’s actions. It wasn’t easy because Bob still wanted to discuss things and justify his reasons “why”. There will always be a reason “why”. “Why” only keeps you in a loop of justifying inappropriate behaviour.

Have you ever been in a situation when someone tells you one thing and then their actions indicate the opposite?

Sometimes we forget that communication goes beyond words. We have a tendency to pay attention to words rather than other forms of communication. In most cases it’s easier to believe the words a person speaks because they’re usually saying what we want to hear.

The challenge with this is that on some level we know the truth and yet we don’t trust ourselves. We often need to have it reinforced by many experiences of the same thing. If someone tells you they respect you and want to do business with you and then they turn around and do business with someone else who offers the same product or service, that’s not congruent. It’s ok, and it is their choice who they do business with. That’s not the issue. What is the issue is that the words don’t match up with the behaviour or action.

Some people are good at influencing others and getting people on board. That’s a great skill to have as long as the actions validate the words.

When someone is doing one thing and saying another, there comes a time when we have to end the dialogue; otherwise, it just keeps going in circles.

If you notice that something isn’t quite right, ask yourself the question “does this behavior represent the words the person is speaking?”

The most important information about a person is their actions.

Stop making excuses for their behaviour and have the courage to trust yourself.

Our emotions are a wonderful part of our experiences. They are the feeling side of life. Without our emotions, every experience would be the same.

Our emotions are an automatic response that sometimes serves us and sometimes does not. Because our emotions are something we’re not always in control of, they are good indicators for our health and well being.

Scientific studies have proven that our emotions are stored holographically throughout our body at a cellular level. It has also been scientifically proven that because of this, an over abundance of negative emotions can lead to challenges for our health and well being.

As well as posing health challenges, an over abundance of negative emotions can cause challenges in relationships, both personally and professionally.

When someone is filled with anger or sadness as an example, all it takes is one wrong word or one wrong look and an eruption of emotion takes place. It’s impossible to hold back our feelings permanently. Eventually someone will trigger the emotion by pushing the right “button”.

They can only push the ‘button” if you have one so it’s your responsibility to remove it. Your response has nothing to do with the person, it’s all about you. If you are not filled up with negative emotions, your response will be appropriate for the situation.

Saying I’m sorry only works for so long.

It isn’t appropriate to lose your temper and verbally abuse or attack people, or cry during a commercial, or feel guilty doing something good for yourself.

The good news is, it is possible to release these negative emotions. It’s one of the most rewarding parts of my work and can be life changing.

By releasing the emotions, it allows you to be in charge of your behaviour. Your perception completely changes. You’re able to better articulate your position, and expectations when the emotional charge is gone. People are more likely to listen and appreciate your perspective. This is an important part of being able to have a positive influence on others.

Healthy Emotional mini-checklist:

1. You are able to receive feedback that differs from your opinion without a negative reaction.
2. You’re able to express kindness before receiving it.
3. You don’t hold a grudge and can let things go.
4. You don’t intimidate people you have authority over including your children.
5. Your moods aren’t influenced by traffic conditions.
6. You don’t experience anxiety in everyday activity such as going to the doctor, meeting new people, driving through a tunnel.

If the above list does not describe you, and you find your emotions are holding you hostage, you may be interested in our Journey of a LifeTime workshop where we work with you to breakthrough your emotional limitations.

Through this program, you’ll be able to set your expectations high. and expect to feel calm, centered, and confident. Your success in life will no longer be limited by inappropriate emotional responses. You can create a life of health, wealth and inner peace.

I started to really think about creativity and how it impacts our success. Creativity is a part of every new idea, and moves us from problem to solution. Because creativity is a natural process, for most people it comes on it’s own and leaves on it’s own, which can be frustrating when you’re faced with a project that you have to complete and creativity is no where to be found. The interesting thing about creativity is that it is stimulated by a specific brain speed. Even though it is something that is naturally occurring the exciting thing is that we can learn to control and shift our brain state to access specific states of mind.

I stumbled upon this years ago when I was creating a script for one of my CD’s. Up until that point, I felt I was only creative in the early morning. I would wake up and immediately go down to my office, half asleep and sit in front of my computer and begin typing. This worked well, except, for the fact that it limited me in my ability to create my script at any time of day. When you’re working to a deadline and are only able to produce at a certain time of day, it can be stressful.

One day I decided if I could do this early in the morning, I could do it at any time. I just had to figure out how. All I needed to do was reproduce the same mindset at will.

I noticed how relaxed I was and that I was still almost in that waking/sleeping state when things just flowed for me.

All I had to do was recreate that state and I would be able to access my creative juices on command. I began to play with this and sure enough, whenever I wanted to do some writing, or develop a new course, I would put myself in that deep relaxed state and I was able to access my creative flow. Believe it or not, when I worked in this state, rarely were there any edits.

From a scientific perspective, what I was actually doing was changing the speed of my brain waves. Our mind is so amazing and when we learn how to harness the power of our mind, we open ourselves up to a whole new world of possibility.

Changing our brain speed is a naturally occurring process. The lowest level of brain activity we encounter is Delta. We access Delta during sleep. As our brain speed increases, we access Theta. Theta is that special time between waking and sleeping, that time when we receive flashes of inspiration just before waking fully or just before falling asleep. Theta is an ideal state for some types of accelerated learning, positive suggestions, and self-healing. The next level is Alpha. This is where creativity and relaxation reside. By learning how to access the Alpha state purposefully, you are able to tap into your creativity at any time you choose. It is also used in accelerated learning. Training yourself to access Alpha is very useful as it greatly reduces stress. For most people, it is physiologically challenging to experience stress in Alpha and also Theta. The last level of brain speed I would like to share with you is Beta. Beta is our normal waking state. At this level, we often function in a more competitive state.

The most powerful aspect of this is that we can learn to change our brain speed. Some of the ways we can do that is through meditation, relaxation techniques, guided visualization, focused breathing techniques and for some people prayer.

Another very effective way to shift your brain speed is with essential oil blends. Based on the synergistic effect of the blends, we’re able to shift our brain state by stimulating the brain to naturally secrete the appropriate chemical response.

For me it all goes back to the power of the mind and a reminder that the more we learn to take control of our mind and our responses, the more we’re able to create what we want in our business and our life.