…..because it scientifically validated what we’ve been teaching for so long – how the mind and body are connected, how our thoughts affect our physiology and our physiology affects our thoughts, and ultimately how both impact our success in life and in business.

This research has proven that we can learn how to have a powerful positive impact on others by learning how to utilize body language to get the result we want. Whether you like it or not the moment someone sees you they make a split second decision about you.

As a leader you want to…..

…..be in control of how people perceive you. Do they see you as a powerful leader? Or do they see your insecurities and inadequacies? Most people just accept the way they’re feeling and put no thought into preparing themselves mentally, emotionally and physically before interacting with others. 

This video is a great reminder of how it is a learned skill for many and how quickly and easily we can prepare ourselves in a way that will create a positive impression with others.

This isn’t about whether you have it naturally or not…..

…..it’s about being able to conjure it up when you need it, and knowing how to do that. This skill impacts us personally and professionally and as we’ve heard many times, you never have a second chance to make a first impression.

Take a look at this video and see how you can change an outcome by two minutes of simple preparation. 

Video on Non Verbal Communication Through Body Language

This is so powerful and one of the reasons we include non-verbal communication in our Breakthrough Leadership Program. It’s something that has to be experienced to gain the full benefit of maximizing your non verbal communication through body language.

Communication is the most overlooked reason for failing to achieve our outcomes and goals. Rapport is a word which is often misused and seldom given the respect it deserves. It is one of the most important elements in successful communication. Our ability to connect with people, to inspire, motive or influence people is based on our ability to build rapport. When people have trouble communicating, they most often struggle for more words to prove their point or stand their ground. The words won’t help if rapport is missing.

What is rapport? Rapport is an unconscious process which at times happens naturally and at other times must be skillfully established.

When we have rapport, we have trust, acceptance of ideas and openness and receptivity to our ideas.

People often think that they can build rapport by chatting about common experiences. This is only one small element. Your tone of voice and your physiology are the major components of rapport.

In our NLP Practitioner training we have participants do an exercise which is in 2 parts. The first part is sitting with someone and discussing a topic which you both agree on and as you discuss this topic, you pay no attention to the person you’re speaking to. You deliberately look around the room, check your phone, tie your shoe any number of distracting things. We call this mismatching your physiology. The second part of of the exercise is finding a topic you both disagree on and during this discussion, you match the body posture of each other. At the end of the exercise we ask participants which one did they feel most comfortable and connected in. In every instance it was the second part. Even though their opinion differed, they felt connected and were interested in the other person’s opinion. Matching physiology is very powerful.

The reason for this is that a large part of building rapport is matching our body posture and the second part is matching our tone of voice and the least important part is the words you speak.

Whether you want to sell yourself, your ideas, or your product, you will only be successful if you have established rapport first. It is also important to be aware that , just because you establish rapport initially, doesn’t mean it’s there for the duration of the conversation. Not only do you have to establish it, you have to maintain it throughout the conversation. Agreement presupposes rapport. The moment you disagree, rapport has been lost and you’ll find that your physiology and tonality are no longer aligned with that person. It’s a natural result. Before going any farther, you must stop promoting your idea, go back in the conversation to the point you had agreement, reestablish rapport and then you can continue moving forward and be in a position of influence.

By developing skills that build rapport, you’ll be amazed at how much this will positively impact the bottom line of your business. If you’re serious about your business, get serious about building rapport.

After talking a few minutes we decided to go to Starbucks for a coffee and it wasn’t long before he started to share about the issue he was struggling with.

Stan had a long time business relationship and friendship with Bob. It was a relationship which Stan had believed was based on honesty, friendship, and support.

Bob and Stan never really worked together officially. Over time there had been a mutual relationship that grew from sharing of information back and forth. In recent times, Bob had begun to question Stan’s abilities in subtle ways and yet at the same time continued to ask his advice and say how much he valued Stan and his work. The mixed message was very confusing.

Because of the friendship, Stan wanted to overlook this. Bob even referred business to Stan’s competitor, finding some justification for doing this. Stan had continued to believe Bob’s words of support . He wanted to think the best of Bob because of their relationship. This continued for some time until one day something too blatant happened.

At that point Stan realized that he could no longer ignore or make excuses for what was happening. It was important for Stan to make a choice. It was not an easy choice for Stan but he knew it was important. Deep down Stan knew that he needed to choose to believe in himself, and trust himself enough to acknowledge the discrepancy in Bob’s actions. It wasn’t easy because Bob still wanted to discuss things and justify his reasons “why”. There will always be a reason “why”. “Why” only keeps you in a loop of justifying inappropriate behaviour.

Have you ever been in a situation when someone tells you one thing and then their actions indicate the opposite?

Sometimes we forget that communication goes beyond words. We have a tendency to pay attention to words rather than other forms of communication. In most cases it’s easier to believe the words a person speaks because they’re usually saying what we want to hear.

The challenge with this is that on some level we know the truth and yet we don’t trust ourselves. We often need to have it reinforced by many experiences of the same thing. If someone tells you they respect you and want to do business with you and then they turn around and do business with someone else who offers the same product or service, that’s not congruent. It’s ok, and it is their choice who they do business with. That’s not the issue. What is the issue is that the words don’t match up with the behaviour or action.

Some people are good at influencing others and getting people on board. That’s a great skill to have as long as the actions validate the words.

When someone is doing one thing and saying another, there comes a time when we have to end the dialogue; otherwise, it just keeps going in circles.

If you notice that something isn’t quite right, ask yourself the question “does this behavior represent the words the person is speaking?”

The most important information about a person is their actions.

Stop making excuses for their behaviour and have the courage to trust yourself.