How is it that some people who are faced with challenges move through them and grow and thrive.  And then there are others who are faced with challenges and they let the challenges destroy them.

Working with many clients over the last 20 years and studying the most current research on neuroscience, how the brain works, there is only one conclusion I can draw.  It depends on what you focus on.  You may think, well that’s easy for you to say but……..

I too have had my challenges, so I appreciate how if feels when you find yourself in scary, uncomfortable situations.  I was a single mom when my daughter was 6 months old and my son was 3 years and I had breast cancer twice, to name a few. But I knew I had to rise above these situations in order to move forward.

I’ve been asked many times how I was able to do that and create a happy, fulfilling and successful life.

It wasn’t easy, but it was simple.  Here are a few things that will support you in living the life you want.

1. You have to be clear about what you want your life to look like.  What experiences do you want to have in all areas of your life.
2. You have to take full responsibility for your life.  This is not about blaming yourself, it’s about recognizing you have the strength and power to create the life you want.
3. You have to be willing to do what it takes.  You have to make changing your life a priority.  You have to have a deep desire to create the life you want.
4. You have to know who you are at the core.  What are the qualities and characteristics that are your true essence and then make decisions based on your core identity.
5. You have to remove any internal obstacles such as negative emotions and limiting beliefs that are stopping you from living the life you want.  You have to do the inner work so you can create your outer world the way you want.

I was fortunate enough to be introduced to NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), which gave me the tools to change my life.   This is why I love sharing this with others.   If this inspires you to change your life please contact me about my NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner Certification and Identity By Design Workshop.

Lynn Robinson
NLP Master Trainer, Coach, Consultant, Author

https://TheRobinsonGroup.ca

…..because it scientifically validated what we’ve been teaching for so long – how the mind and body are connected, how our thoughts affect our physiology and our physiology affects our thoughts, and ultimately how both impact our success in life and in business.

This research has proven that we can learn how to have a powerful positive impact on others by learning how to utilize body language to get the result we want. Whether you like it or not the moment someone sees you they make a split second decision about you.

As a leader you want to…..

…..be in control of how people perceive you. Do they see you as a powerful leader? Or do they see your insecurities and inadequacies? Most people just accept the way they’re feeling and put no thought into preparing themselves mentally, emotionally and physically before interacting with others. 

This video is a great reminder of how it is a learned skill for many and how quickly and easily we can prepare ourselves in a way that will create a positive impression with others.

This isn’t about whether you have it naturally or not…..

…..it’s about being able to conjure it up when you need it, and knowing how to do that. This skill impacts us personally and professionally and as we’ve heard many times, you never have a second chance to make a first impression.

Take a look at this video and see how you can change an outcome by two minutes of simple preparation. 

Video on Non Verbal Communication Through Body Language

This is so powerful and one of the reasons we include non-verbal communication in our Breakthrough Leadership Program. It’s something that has to be experienced to gain the full benefit of maximizing your non verbal communication through body language.

I’m so excited to be working with these amazing women.  We’re already developing new programs and we’ve just gotten started.  There is a magic and a synergy that happens when things are right and this is an example of that magic and synergy.

I also decided I would commit to walking in the mornings and that I would look for someone who wanted to walk with me.  One of the ideas our team came up with was to have our master mind meetings while walking or jogging together 3 mornings a week.  That way we get to exercise our mind and our body.  We’ll keep you posted on our progress.

2011 is off to a great start for me and I hope for you as well.

This has proven to me again how important it is to hold on to your vision.  If you really want something, have patience and trust that it will happen.  Don’t let anything stop you from dreaming.  One day when you least expect it, it will happen.  And trust me, it’s worth the wait.

Overwhelm is something that many of us are faced with.  There seems to be more and more we’re required to do.  Between our personal life, family, and work, it’s becoming very challenging to fit everything in and maintain our sanity.  We’re also being bombarded constantly with information overload.  I was reminded of this when I was working with a client yesterday who is understaffed and overworked which resulted in complete overwhelm.

Action:

The first thing we did was get focused.  We took all the projects running around in his head and wrote them down. Remove the clutter from your mind. The second step was to organize and prioritize the tasks, the third step was to assign the tasks.  The last step was to compose emails to each person listing the task and the due date.  He was then free to work on his responsibilities feeling more focused and in control.

Tip:

Sometimes we don’t stop long enough to get focused and nothing gets completed.  If you find yourself talking about the same problems weeks or months on end, it’s time to take charge, make a plan and take action.  Often we think it takes too much time to delegate and it’s just as easy to do it yourself.  That is not true.  If you take the time to clarify your expectation with others and then diarize the follow-up if necessary, eventually with your consistent actions, you’ll instill consistency in others.  It may take more time in the beginning, and ultimately you’ll save time and will be much more efficient. And then you can get on with what you do best as a leader.

That’s true leadership.

Steps to alleviate overwhelm:

1. Get focused
2. Write down projects and tasks
3. Organize and prioritize your list
4. Assign responsibility to each item on your list
5. Contact each person giving specific responsibilities and assign a completion date and/or time.
6. Diarize and follow-up

They believe the only way to recover is to cut back on spending.

I realized every business owner is faced with the same question. Not only are we faced with it in terms of our business, but also whether or not to invest in ourselves in order to grow and move forward.

How are you approaching your economic situation?

Perhaps the answer is that there is no standard procedure and that it’s more important to have a strategy to evaluate each opportunity based on your specific goals and criteria. There will be times when it’s important to invest in your business and yourself and other times when it’s not. Only you know the right decision for you.

As a leader, you need to:

• do what it takes to get the job done
• believe in yourself
• trust your decisions
• be willing to pay the consequences
• overcome whatever obstacles get in your way

We all know how important it is to take a break and yet it’s easier said then done.

How do you find the time when life is so busy already.  I don’t know about you, but I find that things just seem to keep speeding up. There’s always more to do and I can never seem to get caught up.

Last week we got a call from our very good friends inviting us to their cabin in a secluded area of the Sunshine Coast in British Columbia.  Their cabin is surrounded by acres of old growth forest, on the ocean, accessible only by boat.  It is the most amazing tranquil place you can imagine.  For the last few years it’s been an annual event.

This year I found myself hesitating, thinking I couldn’t afford the time.  Right now we’re making so many changes in the business.  I’ve hired a number of people to help me and still we’re swamped.

I felt torn.

Finally I decided to go.  When I was telling a client about it they asked me how I had come to the decision, because it seems to be a common dilemma.

It wasn’t easy.  But, what I realized, is there would never be a good time to get away.  When you’re in business, you’re always busy and that’s the way it should be.  If it’s a slow time in terms of revenue, you have to work on increasing your revenue and when revenue is good, it’s a matter of maintaining and always being one step ahead.

It really comes down to your beliefs and values.

I believe that for me to achieve what I want in my life and my business I need to be rested, focused and have clarity of direction.  I believe that if I want to perform optimally, I have to have a way to replenish myself. Sometimes the best way to get the job done means taking a break so I can approach things with a fresh perspective.  And from the personal side, I value time spent with my friends.

I don’t believe their are any hard and fast rules.

Every time we’re faced with options, we have to apply our decision making strategy to that specific situation.  That way when you make the decision, you know it’s the right one.

So I’m now back, feeling refreshed and ready to go.  And the bonus for me was that because nature inspires me,  I even came up with a strategy for my video products as I walked through the forest chatting with my friend.

Creating a balance between work and play is very important. If we want to see growth in our business,we do need to make choices that keep our life balanced, even when work feels more important at the time. When we do we will see the benefits in every area of our life.

It made me think about how many times I’ve been presented with an “opportunity” and how stressful this can be. I’m sure we’ve all heard people say things regarding opportunities, such as “opportunity only knocks once at your door” ” this is the opportunity of a life time” ” if I pass up this opportunity, I’ll never have this chance again”. One question I have is why is it so stressful if it’s truly an opportunity?

In my client’s case, she had a feeling that something just wasn’t right about this but couldn’t put her finger on what it was. Sometimes you have to just trust that feeling because there is generally a basis for it, it’s simply that you can’t consciously pin-point what you saw or heard that is giving you the feeling.

The best way to decide if this really is an “opportunity” for you or if it’s just an “opportunity” for the person making the proposal, is to measure and critique it according to your vision and goals. You also have to use your values as criteria because that’s where our motivation comes from and that’s also how we evaluate our progress and accomplishments. If you just take it at face value without considering it within the context of your life or your business and what’s important to you and where you’re going, you’ll probably find yourself going in circles.

To help you determine if this is a good opportunity for you, there are 2 sets of questions to ask yourself:

1. Does this opportunity help me to meet my goals? Will this move me closer to or farther from what I want to achieve this year?

2. Are the people involved aligned with my values? Take a look at how they present themselves. Is this how you’d want to be represented? What kind of language do they use to capture your attention? Is it towards motivation or away from? By their actions, do they value what you value?

In my clients case, the answer to the first set of questions was no, this would move me farther away from my goals for the year. In answer to the second set of questions, it was clear that their values were also not aligned. By focusing on vision, goals and values, it only took a few minutes for my client to come to the conclusion that this really was not an opportunity for her.

The more clarity you have around who you are and where you’re going, the easier it is to determine if this really is an opportunity.

It’s not about whether it’s an opportunity for anyone else, it’s simply about whether or not it’s an opportunity for you.

When we’re young and innocent, we see the world as a place of possibility and at some point, for many people, that changes.

We just spent the afternoon at our granddaughter’s school concert. She was so excited about the concert. She was in the choir. She has been practising and practising and couldn’t wait to perform.

The best part was that she was telling her mom what a good singer she is, really good. And because she felt good about being a good singer, she sang her heart out.

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When did it stop being ok to be proud of what we can do well? And to tell other people that we’re good? When did we begin to hear the words “it’s not good to brag” or “don’t be conceited”. Why is it only ok when we’re very young? So many teens lack self-confidence and have low self-esteem, which often stays with them into adulthood. What if we continued to encourage them to share when they feel good about an accomplishment?

Why do we have to play small and hide our joy and pride in our abilities to do well?

When I was in my teens, I was Miss BC Lions. I didn’t invite anyone to the event when I was chosen, not even my family. It was years before I would tell anyone about being Miss BC Lions because it would have sounded as if I was bragging. How sad. I was so conditioned that even now I think twice about it after alllll…….. these years. No I won’t tell you how many.

What would our world be like if we could share our accomplishments that bring us joy, as well as our challenges. Imagine the confidence we would build within ourselves when we could acknowledge our own wins. Who says it’s not ok. Everyone has things they’re proud of. We all have different natural abilities and skills. Why hide your greatness.

The more you acknowledge your greatness the more you’re able to acknowledge other people’s greatness. That is one of the indicators of high self-esteem.

What are you proud of? What accomplishments have you achieved that you really want to share? It doesn’t have to be something big, just something that makes you feel good when you think about it.

I’d love to hear some of the things that you really feel good about and haven’t felt right about sharing.

Communication is the most overlooked reason for failing to achieve our outcomes and goals. Rapport is a word which is often misused and seldom given the respect it deserves. It is one of the most important elements in successful communication. Our ability to connect with people, to inspire, motive or influence people is based on our ability to build rapport. When people have trouble communicating, they most often struggle for more words to prove their point or stand their ground. The words won’t help if rapport is missing.

What is rapport? Rapport is an unconscious process which at times happens naturally and at other times must be skillfully established.

When we have rapport, we have trust, acceptance of ideas and openness and receptivity to our ideas.

People often think that they can build rapport by chatting about common experiences. This is only one small element. Your tone of voice and your physiology are the major components of rapport.

In our NLP Practitioner training we have participants do an exercise which is in 2 parts. The first part is sitting with someone and discussing a topic which you both agree on and as you discuss this topic, you pay no attention to the person you’re speaking to. You deliberately look around the room, check your phone, tie your shoe any number of distracting things. We call this mismatching your physiology. The second part of of the exercise is finding a topic you both disagree on and during this discussion, you match the body posture of each other. At the end of the exercise we ask participants which one did they feel most comfortable and connected in. In every instance it was the second part. Even though their opinion differed, they felt connected and were interested in the other person’s opinion. Matching physiology is very powerful.

The reason for this is that a large part of building rapport is matching our body posture and the second part is matching our tone of voice and the least important part is the words you speak.

Whether you want to sell yourself, your ideas, or your product, you will only be successful if you have established rapport first. It is also important to be aware that , just because you establish rapport initially, doesn’t mean it’s there for the duration of the conversation. Not only do you have to establish it, you have to maintain it throughout the conversation. Agreement presupposes rapport. The moment you disagree, rapport has been lost and you’ll find that your physiology and tonality are no longer aligned with that person. It’s a natural result. Before going any farther, you must stop promoting your idea, go back in the conversation to the point you had agreement, reestablish rapport and then you can continue moving forward and be in a position of influence.

By developing skills that build rapport, you’ll be amazed at how much this will positively impact the bottom line of your business. If you’re serious about your business, get serious about building rapport.

The only thing between you and your desires is your beliefs. Your beliefs determine your success in all areas of your life because they drive your behavior. Beliefs are the thoughts we have about ourselves, other people and the world, that fuel our actions.

The thing about beliefs is that we live our life as if they’re true and yet we’ve just made them up. The good news is that we can change them.

Our core beliefs are formed at a very early age. It is believed they are formed between 0 and 7 years of age. The is a time when we are like sponges, taking everything we hear as true with no ability to logically challenge anything. That’s how we learn and how we form our core beliefs and values.

Other beliefs are added as we live our life.

There comes a time in your life when it is important to challenge some of the things you hold true. Based on what you want to achieve in your life, do your beliefs serve to move you closer to your goals or farther away? Do they support you or limit you?

The first step to achieving a goal is a deep desire to achieve it. When it’s a true desire you can feel it as if you already have it. You can see what it’s like, hear what’s going on around you, you are so emotionally attached to achieving your desire that you can almost taste it.

The second step is to discover if you have any beliefs that are going to stop you from achieving your goal. When you believe you can do it or have it you’ll find a way. When you don’t have that strong belief, you’ll be stopped by challenges or obstacles.

Often the beliefs that elude you the most are the ones that are having the most impact on your life. They are so deeply ingrained that you don’t recognize them as beliefs.

There are 3 ways to identify your limiting beliefs.

1. How you respond to others

Pay attention to how you respond to others. When you have a negative emotional response to another person or situation, notice what you’re saying to yourself when you get the feeling or what you’re thinking to yourself. Are you judging them or yourself? Are you negating what they say? Are you defending yourself in some way? The words that come to you are your beliefs.

Often we get so caught up in our emotion that we miss the important message. It’s never about the other person, it’s always about ourselves. What does this tell you about yourself and your limitations?

2. Reflection

What is your life reflecting back to you? What are your results showing or telling you? The question to ask yourself is “what must I believe in order to have these results in my life?”

Look at all areas of your life. Do you have the relationship you want? Do you have the career you want? Do you have the friends and support you want in your life? Do you have the money you want in your life? If not, my question to you is “what’s stopping you from having it now?”.

For example if you don’t have enough money there will be any number of underlying belief that supports you, such as, this is a slow economy, nobody is making money, times are tough, it’s hard to make good money, I don’t have enough education, I don’t have enough time, I’m not lucky………..and the list goes on.

The problem with these beliefs is that when you hold them, you act as if they are true which means you accept the consequences of them and don’t look to overcome your situation.

3. Continuing Life Patterns

Notice if you have any patterns that you seem to repeat in your life. Do you always end relationships? Do you spend more money then you make? Do pay off your bills only to stack the up again? Do you reach a level of success and then something happens so you have to start over again? Do you continually attract people into your life who aren’t trustworthy? Are you constantly struggling to get ahead?

In order to recognize the patterns, you have to be willing to see them without judgement. Some of the patterns may permeate more than one area of your life. Often there are clusters of beliefs that are linked together, so it’s important to get to the clusters.

Once you recognize your limiting beliefs and how they’ve limited you in your life, it’s time to change them. When I work with a client to change those limiting beliefs the transformation is remarkable. Once they’ve eliminated those elusive, invisible barriers, they are able to move forward to live the lifestyle they desire.